As I pull in the drive-thru, I see a sign which says, “We May Be Out Of Some Of Your Favorite Items, Sorry For The Inconvenience.” My order goes like this:
“I would like a Boffo Burger, medium fries and a large Coke.”
“We are out of hamburger patties and have no straws for the soda.”
“Ok, I’ll take three tacos, no fries, and I can live without the straw.
“We are out of taco shells.”
“Do you still have the taco meat filling?”
“Yes.”
“Then put it on a hamburger bun and add back the fries.”
“Do you still want the soda?”
“Only if it comes without a straw.”
This is the apocalyptic world of pandemic and supply chain induced shortages. The greatest country on Earth is now mimicking Soviet bread lines. At the beginning of the Covid virus, everyone hoarded toilet paper and hand sanitizer. No shortage there now. Our garages are full of the stuff.
However it’s the other items that are scarce or non-existent for long periods of time. My local grocery is like a third world fun house. I’m there when they open at 6 am, but things aren’t looking up. No baking potatoes. Down to three heads of limp lettuce. Out of biscuits, light yogurt and breakfast burros in the dairy case. No prune juice. (At our age my wife and I see it as a necessity). Finally, they do not have the cheap swill wine I normally drink, and I have to settle for an upscale bottle of chateau whatever.
When I visit the drugstore, my prescription is delayed because my pills are on a Chinese container ship circling off of Long Beach. I figure I can at least get some basic multi-vitamins for seniors, but they now only have the gummy bear variety that taste like a fruit plate. On the way out, I plan to buy a Snickers bar, but it is on the same ship with the pills. Looks like we have outsourced everything.
Not to be left out, the motor industry is experiencing a severe microchip shortage. Maybe the chip plants overseas have switched to producing toilet paper. No microchips equals no vehicle computers equals no new cars and trucks. This now jacks up the prices for “pre-owned” vehicles which will cost you an arm, a leg, and your left ear. An early 2000 beater car with 95,000 miles for only $450 a month!
As we maneuver through these turgid waters (a little homage to the ships off Long Beach), it’s helpful to remember that good times may not be far off. While Marie Antoinette literally lost her head after saying to the starving plebeians, “Let them eat cake,” Napoleon then came along and the salad days returned until Waterloo. Well, I’m just going to go recheck the grocery store. We really need prune juice.